I need to stop coming to work sober
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
