let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
