i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
