All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
