He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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