You're my little dorito
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
