1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
