I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my poor anus
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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