Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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