Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
