I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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