$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
