I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
