Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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