You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
