He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
