Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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