thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
