my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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