Cold hands, warm shart.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
