she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
