this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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