Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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