ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
