hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Found your dick twin last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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