the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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