these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
