Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
