Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
