I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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