I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
