I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
