I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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