do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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