I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
