I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
