Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
