i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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