After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
