There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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