I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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