So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
