He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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