Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
