So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
