it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
