not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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