Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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