if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
