Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
