and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
