Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
