Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
