Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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