Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize