my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
