I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
