no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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