i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
