Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
